Find out more about how we use your personal data in our privacy policy and cookie policy. It looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. 50 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Shut Everyone Up (And Make You Look Like A Genius) By Mlanie Berliet , February 22nd 2016 41. The Sovereign Lord is my strength! July 19, 2019, 3:55 PM. Why is it so important to come up with good comebacks? Its so small. Readers had fun suggesting answers to the delicate question How old are you? Read on: DEAR ABBY: My grandmother lived to 103. Explore these 60 sun-fire funny comebacks and protect yourself against verbal bullying. "Did you parents and friends love you, no". When the Indian coach was asked whether stand-in captain Ajinkya Rahane is a bowling captain, he went on to mention that he was hearing it for the first time. Did it come with a pole? 12. If a guy pulls the "dream" pickup line, give the comeback, "Really cause this feels like a nightmare." report. i love this thank you for this there is a bully at my park i am writing this all down now. I had a wet dream about you. hide. You may not feel confident in your comebacks at first, but with practice, youll be able to shut down anyone who dares insult you. Youre like the first slice of bread in the packet, everyone touches you but no one wants you. Restaurant critic Bill Addison describes an epiphany he had at Saltie Girl in Boston five years ago when the restaurants impressive selection of tinned fish revealed just how delicious canned sardines and more could be. You keep thinking to yourself, "Why didn't I say that!?" Bitch Im TELLING you dc if you asked or not. A gross guy at a bar blurted out What ARE you? referring to my ethnic ambiguity, shared one Buzzfeed contributor, I ignored him and walked away with my friends, but what I shouldve said was Out of your league. DIANNE H. IN THE SOUTH, DEAR ABBY: I think its time we stopped behaving as if getting to be a certain age, particularly as women, is something to hide. Anyone got good comebacks for "Who asked" - reddit 62 comments. 122 Best Comebacks In Any Situation [Best Examples] - Happy Rubin You wanna sex-related joke? An atom bomb you can just drop and walk away from. Check our our top ten comeback lists. 31. Use your newfound powers wisely! (Security Pacific National Bank Collection / Los Angeles Public Library). God is the Strength for Your Comebacks. Theme restaurants and L.A.'s tiki bar era - Los Angeles Times or ask "Is there a law that says asking first gives you some bargaining rights? ? 27. comeback I often share my opinions, and people say, Did I ask?. However, if you want to get out of a heated conversation with dignity intact, saying the right thing can make all the difference. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. Look in a mirror. A devastating blow to anyone who has ever experienced hot dog water, as well as hot dogs everywhere. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. 38. So, thanks to you again! In an episode of Mad Men, an adversarial colleague tells Don, I feel bad for you. To which Don cooly replies, I dont think about you at all. Ouch. Im an acquired taste. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? This is one of those good comebacks for the person constantly interrupting you. You're fucking dead, kiddo.. One of the, One day in middle school my friends and I were all coincidentally wearing either pink or yellow shirts. Whatever does not kill you disappoints me. Not asking the right questions is your problem, not mine. Whether youre responding to a bully, an idiot, or just someone who needs to be put in their place, a snappy retort can be the perfect way to put them in their place. Here is a list of other comebacks to use whenever. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. Ive got to find it first. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Take a look at these awesome comebacks for bullies! Unfortunately, thinking of the perfect comeback in the moment can be tough. Youre the reason that toothpaste tubes have instructions on them. 1. Ill never forget the first time we met. I think you owe it an apology. She and Foods audience engagement editor, Amy Wong, who is also a formidable cookie baker, then asked readers to describe what they want most in a chocolate chip cookie. 40. Yelp users havent asked any questions yet about First Watch. I forgot the world revolves around you. Laugh like a maniac and shut jerks up with these really funny comebacks and insults. I would remind them that I don't need anyone's permission to talk. I'd tell them to keep their conversations to themselves if they don't want to he Remember, words are powerful weapons, so use them wisely! Best Comebacks for when You're Being Hit on: (Your reaction) Thank you! If they do ask, you could explain to them that they seem like they are in a bad mood. "I too asked you first from last!!" :D I am just writing some stuff because stupid Quora wants more explanation on this. Next time someone tries to put you down, make sure to give them a taste of their own medicine. Here are 11 words and phrases that used to be insultsand are now compliments. Or is it that you believe every opinion posted on the internet is required to have your permission? Your face is fine but well have to put a bag over that personality. We would disintegrate on the spot if someone said this to us. However, with a little bit of practice, you can use these savage comebacks to shut down anyone who tries to put you down. You got run over by a bus and I pissed myself laughing. Here are some mean comebacks to say to a girl: So there you have it, some mean comebacks to say to a girl. You have a little bullsh*t on your lip. 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. Consider subscribing to the Los Angeles Times. Theres nothing quite like the satisfaction of firing off a savage comeback, especially when it leaves your adversary reeling. One of the funniest one-liners on the Internet, if you ask me. Someday youll go farand I really hope you stay there. Become a verbal vendetta masterheres how to craft the perfect comeback. I don't know. Of course, its important to be strategic about when you use your comebacks. What does "twin" mean in the phrase "the twin shocks of Vietnam and Watergate"? Oh, Im sorry, I must have mistaken you for someone who actually knows what theyre talking about. Take a page from Don Drapers book. Remember, thumbs are human beings greatest tools for a reasonuse them. Shut the fuck up and go back to the storm drain where your mother abandoned you. That sounds like a you problem. This is one of those good comebacks for when your kids are making their lack of planning your emergency. These good comebacks, from funny comebacks to sick burns, will help you win any argument. You'd laugh and the jerks would be very pissed. If laughter is medicine, your face must be curing the world. You must be feeling really insecure today. Pretty dumb in the first place. If he was any more inbred, hed be a sandwich. And Stephanie Breijo talks with the creative forces behind the beloved sandwich shop Wax Paper about their highly anticipated new restaurant Lingua Franca, a New California comfort food spot nearly six years in the making.. Proceed with caution and be sure to carry a mic with you when using these, because you'll definitely need to drop it after. Laurie Ochoa is general manager of Food at the Los Angeles Times. 7. Luckily, I have compiled a short list of all the things I could say, if he annoys me. Response: So for her sake and your ancestors' sake and for my sake don't ever fucking again sarcastically ask "who tf asked". ' shares another Buzzfeed contributor. 199. The complete lack of hesitation combined with the specificity of the insult was devastating.. Good job. Some of these questions arent necessarily awful, they just get a little tiring when youre asked it for the millionth time. Thanks for your input. Here, I gift you this plant to carry around with you. "No one fucking asked but im a human being with an opinion and evidence to back it up, and the soldiers of the revolutionary war and the civil war and the world wars all fought so that I had the right to free speech and thus the right to state that opinion and the evidence I have even when no one fucking asked. I would call you a h*e, but at least theyre making money from it. Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. This one comes from Dorothy Parker who was the queen of good comebacks. Luckily, I have compiled a short list of all the things I could say, if he annoys me. Your so fat you could sell shade. If you look for humor in your books, try some of the funniest reads of all time. Ouch. WPC Overview; About Secretary; Working Council You arent worth the dust that the wind is blowing on your face. Yes, I'm saying your date is a blow-up doll. Your legs are like McDonalds, open 24/7. authenticate users, apply security measures, and prevent spam and abuse, and, display personalised ads and content based on interest profiles, measure the effectiveness of personalised ads and content, and, develop and improve our products and services. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Does your ass ever get jealous of all the crap that comes out of your mouth. You cant see the f*ck you in my smile, can you? So, if I Googled jerk, would your picture come up? Often, the best response to an immature comment is a measured and calm response. She always answered, Im old enough to have a past and young enough to have a future. She was still saying this past her 100th birthday. The dream of theme restaurants and L.A.s tiki bar era. Do you feel that young people today rely too much on having screen time with friends instead of actually meeting up and talking face to face? So stfu. I hope we will quit giving kids the message that older women are less than. I know the beauty industry would like to perpetuate that myth for economic benefit, but we dont have to aid and abet them. comebacks Keep in mind to not use these against someone who cant take a joke. 28. Read his review plus Jenn Harris earlier ode to Saltie Girls lobster roll. Flaming tiki drinks, the ultimate crowd-sourced chocolate chip cookie recipe, a celebrity hummus crawl, "I'm no proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one." OK, maybe a little harsh. Can I ask you a question? H*es be like, Ive been through a lot. No a lot has been through you. You realise I could just say didnt ask back to your comment and it would actually carry way more weight because your comment was directed towards me, while mine was not directed towards you? Whatever you do, dont let an insult get the best of you. They say our brains dont stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early. Well, I experience this almost everyday, caused by my younger brother. They're the best burn jokes you'll find. You can sign in to vote the answer. Youre as sharp as a rubber ball. If a guy asks you where you've been all his life, simply say, "Living mine." 101 Savage, Good Comebacks for Every Witty, Funny or Rude Thank you for your reply. "Did you parents ask for you, no". 10. Baskin-Robbins adds a hint of waffle, and voila. 90 Good Comebacks, Roasts & One-Liners For Sick Burns The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. I think if you memorize anything here, stick with this one, it will get you out of even the toughest corners. I do this for some practical reasons. Hi Tatiana, I'm really glad that this helped you. 9. first Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. Heres a tissue. ", "So you should be prepared to answer first too - You should never ask a question you aren't willing to answer yourself". Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. "Oh my bad, am I to get your permission before I give my opinion? If the topic is relevant to something that they are interested in, or if it's important enough that they should care about it, tell them how. You cant be a d*ck simply because you have one. 25 Best Comebacks To Suck My I would expect that to get better in time. I see youre still stuck in middle school. comebacks, humor, funny. Id give you a nasty look but you already have one. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Buzzfeed, 14 Hilarious Comebacks That Only Took People a Few Hours to Come Up With Youtube.com , Legally Blonde (4/11) Movie CLIP First Day of School (2001) HD Remember when Captain Jack Sparrow, under threat of capture and arrest, takes a moment to deliver a devastating zinger? 1.1k. It looks just like a penis only smaller. And kept on laughing. If you were any more wrong, youd be right! This thread is archived. In life you will notice that a lot of people will talk a lot of crap to you. I dont know what your problem is, but Ill bet its hard to pronounce. 12. The village called. It's totally frustrating after an argument to finally think of a great thing you could have said during the fight. Whether youre dealing with a know-it-all friend or a rude coworker, weve got you covered. I hope your fingers change into fishing hooks, and you get an itch in your balls.