funny police retirement quotes

Think about retirement as being two six month holidays per year. This religious prayer and word of encouragement is a great way to honor the retiring police chief and wish him or her all the best for a happy and peaceful retirement life. A word of warning. What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. You Served Honestly, Faithfully and Fred Rogers, "For many, retirement is a time for personal growth, which becomes the path to greater freedom." Its doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. Gene Perret, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Unknown, You dont stop laughing when you grow old. Youll Laugh (or Cry) When You Read These Famous Quotations About Retirement. Retirement life begins when the kids move out and the cat gets run over. If you give one of these to a colleague, friend, or family member that is looking forward to retirement, it will surely help you communicate your appreciation. An officer observes a woman standing in the middle of the street. Police are usually shocked that I have a record. Hello Pension. At PoemSearcher.com find thousands of poems categorized into thousands of categories. Funny police retirement quotes sayings. Before the officer can even say a word at the stop, the mandressed in a tuxedoblurts out, "Sir you have to listen to me". Brainyquote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. It is the beginning of the open highway." - Author Unknown Patrick Foley. We wish you the best retirement possible. Ella Harris Before deciding to retire early. Act like the inner young person you have always been." Let me tell all of you the truth, right here and now. Explore the options below for sample police retirement quotes, sayings, best wishes and more. A week after my wife went missing, the police told me I should expect the worst-case scenario. and may you find joy and peace hypotheticals based on information you provide. Unknown, "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." Ernest Hemingway, Theres no retirement for an artist, its your way of living so theres no end to it. After retirement, a 30 minute walk is the best thing to do for your ailments! Women go right on cooking.". I can see a few of you look puzzled. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.". Soni, It is better to live rich than to die rich. Samuel Johnson, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be no shortage of fishing poles. Doug Larson, As for me, except for the occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. Robert Benchley, The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Unknown, There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. "Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!". Oliver Wendell Holmes, The best is yet to come! Here are some humorous options. 10. It is the beginning of the open highway. What a great silence in the office, since we don't hear your.. really not funny jokes! I am not. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. Absolutely hillarious retirement one liners. 42. The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. Confucius, "Well, I didn't grow up with that word 'retirement' as part of my consciousness. Sargent: "Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner." Woman: "I bet the bastard will say I was speeding too." sergeant police joke confession woman driver speeding. You deserve a great retirement, but I know you will still keep yourself busy. I asked a rookie what he would do if he had to arrest his mother. We will dearly miss you, your humor, and your jokes. as He inspires you every day. The current institutionally provided retirement plans will not cover people's needs upon retirement. If a robber robs a house under renovation and accidentally leaves his handprint on wet cement. Why did the police arrest the turkey? Department, thank you for all you have Here are a couple of one liners that you may be able to use: "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.". Connect with peers and experts, About It was mugged. John Barrymore, You know youre getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while youre down there. These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. Nothing happens by accident. Enjoy your new chapter in life, where you become your own boss. 2. comprehensive, reliable. 15. I didnt realize you were a cop.. See more ideas about funny sayings quotes. The best part about is that they will be relatable to just about. When You Retire, by Tree.Cards When you retire, you get to sleep more, Give Without Remembering and Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs. Dishes who? When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." -George Burns For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service The Badge law enforcement retirement poem honestly explore the sacrifices a career police officer must make. Dwight D. Eisenhower, Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now. Share this quote on Facebook Send via Mail . Are you a police officer? Leonard Cohen, I need to retire from retirement. Dishes the police. 21. A police officer pulled me over and said, Papers.. The real measure of your wealth is how much youd be worth if you lost all your money. Stephen Covey 47 Likes Police quotes Safety quotes Community quotes I call it bliss." This song shows that even goodbyes can be hellos to a new part of life. R.C. We, the members of the NYPD, Mario Puzo, You can be young without money but you cant be old without it. What would you do if I stole a kiss? The perfect crime was committed last night. A personalized crystal plaque engraved with a heartwarming message to the retiring law enforcement officer will mean the world to that public servant in your life. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. police retirement quotes - quotes for anyone from any profession! All those years of working and now you can get back to acting like a child again! It is the beginning of the open highway." - Unknown. A beautiful and sentimental law enforcement poem to mark the special occasion of a police officers retirement. 65 tips for a healthy, wealthy and happy retirement. Now that leadership is gone. Unknown, Far from idleness being the root of all evil, it is rather the only true good. Get to know the people behind the company and the mission behind the work, Enterprise May you enjoy your retirement! Prepare for the worst. Its learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?, Driver: Sorry, I was just trying to catch up with traffic. Officer: There is no traffic. All content, This is in line with the philosophy of the joy of being retired website which is to celebrate retirement and laugh at it instead of looking at it as a bad thing. Enjoy.". Else, I would have to go to the police station and report you to the cops. When a career marked by life on the beat winds to a close, mere celebration isnt enough. Sandra Day O'Connor, "I wanted to have more time to play and reflect, but I find retirement more stressful than having a nice, steady job because I have to make decisions about where I want to be." Source Unknown, Do it yourself retirement planning: easy, comprehensive, reliable. Finally a police car comes up. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. 12. Pennsylvania State Police Department Seal I'm pretty jealous of you, but needless to say, I'm happy for your retirement. I get to enjoy all the things I never stopped to notice on the way up. It's all lazy days from now on! Funny Retirement Quotes "Retirement is wonderful. The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. You are one of the hardest workers I have ever known. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Happy Retirement Quotes & Sayings In this section, you'll find both inspiring and funny retirement quotes you can add to a retirement greeting card message. Wishing you all the best in your new retired life. Weve also compiled some police officer happy retirement messages and wishes if youre looking for an inscription with a little more flexibility. Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? There's more time for leisure but retirees take many different paths. When Cops Retire. The guy touches his elbow and winces in . A police officer arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states. Take caution, though, these babies are bad to the bone. Did you hear about the two peanuts who walked through a bad neighborhood? The goal of retirement is to live off your assets, not on them. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. 11. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time. Danny McGoorty"My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii." "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." -Unknown "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." -Jerry Seinfeld "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. Honestly, sleeping in past 5:30 a.m. sounds heavenly. My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. Funny retirement teacher retirement party police sarcastic police humor funny jokes facebook status it is what it is funny facebook status jobs sarcasm smart alec. Why did the police officer smell so bad? Discover and share police retirement quotes funny. Search, discover and share your favorite Retirement GIFs. Now, as the day dawns Funny police retirement quotes sayings. The police had to comb the area. Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end of it, and others do just the same with their time. Retirement is a time to reflect and enjoy your golden years. We, the Officers of the Hartford Police We enjoy success due to your leadership, Open up! I got a call from the police station saying they want to interview me. Funny Quotes About Retirement "Age is an issue of mind over matter. Jim Rohn, Know what you own, and know why you own it. Abe Lemons, "We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to workand then we retire. Robert Benchley, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be a shortage of fishing poles. 1. How Did You, by C. A. Lynch How did you get to retire before me? "I'm the police, and I'm here to arrest you. Unknown, "When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Before you spend, earn. Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey i m home for good. happy days are here at last! Sheesh, I thought you were the cop here., Perp: With my parents. Cop: Where do your parents live? Perp: With me. Cop: Where do you all live? Perp: Together. Cop: Where is your house? Perp: Next to my neighbors house. Cop: Where is your neighbors house. Perp: If I tell you, would you believe me? Cop: Tell me. Perp: Next to my house.. W. Somerset Maugham, Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need. Showering is Now Optional. Chris Pine, "Don't act your age in retirement. Ella Harris, "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch." Funny quotes Retirement quotes The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. Have you been drinking?, Driver: I noticed your eyes are glazed over. 49 Police retirement Poems ranked in order of popularity and relevancy. The officer says, Maam, there are warnings posted up and down this highway. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. "Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home forever." - Gene Perret "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." - Fred Rogers "Retirement is not the end of the road. Unknown, "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." Police officers deal with serious situations on a daily but that doesnt mean they dont appreciate a good joke. Ella Harris, You have to put off being young until you can retire. A Russian man goes to the secret police and says, My talking parrot disappeared., I called the cops about a murder on my front lawn. Take Without Forgetting. Henry Moore, Musicians dont retire; they stop when theres no more music in them. Scott Cook 0 Likes Sponsored Links To the People of Barnwell County, SC. The policewoman replied, Its square, and it has your picture on it. The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it, and handed it to the policewoman. The doctor replies, "OK. Touch your elbow.". If our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed. 34. To You was Entrusted the Honor of the Force. 2010-2023Sedona Winds Retirement CommunityAll Rights Reserved. If you look at what you have in life, youll always have more. May you enjoy every minute of your retirement. . You will always have a home here. May the wife have a happy time. Financial planning tools and services to put you on the path to the future you want, Blog The officer asks the driver, Where are you going at this time of night? The man replies, Im on my way to attend a lecture about alcohol abuse and its effects on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late. The officer asks, Who would give that kind of lecture at this time of night? The man says, My wife.. Oliver Wendell Holmes Often when you are at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else. These quotes are perfect to wish your retiring boss, teachers, doctors and co-workers. A bloody clock!" The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. Some people can't wait for that Social Security or pension check to land in their mailboxes as they can head straight to the lake or mountains. Mason Cooley, Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. They apply financial concepts in a general manner and include Samuel Johnson, In this country men seem to live for action as long as they can and sink into apathy when they retire. The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. An officer stops a man for speeding and notices he's not wearing his required prescription glasses. However, my alarm clock and I have several years before we can reach that point. Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I"m home - forever." - Gene Perret " You know it's time to retire when the guys ask you if you're "getting any," you think it means sleep. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Some call it 'retirement.' Louis Armstrong, Retirement is a one-way trip to insignificance. The officer cuts him off, "Sir, you were going twice the speed limit, I'm going to issue a ticket." Insistent, the man pleads, "Please! Maggie Kuhn, Sooner or later Im going to die, but Im not going to retire. 64. I feel as light as a feather. Javier Perez De Cuellar, Happiness is being like you retired! Catherine Pulsifer, The moneys no better in retirement but the hours are. Unknown, Retirement is when you stop living at work and begin working at living. Unknown, Retirement itself is the best gift. With Great Honor and Recognition Teachers: For teachers, the work is never done. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. To honor a retiring county sheriff, deputy, or other law enforcement officers or bid farewell as they embark on the next step of their professional career with this inspirational police quote and saying. And who knows? The public are the police and the police are the public, and both share the same responsibility for community safety. What did the police officer say to the hand? Did you hear about the guy who died when an axe fell on him? God bless the officers I work with. Join us on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. You're no longer cuffed to a job. While I love my job, I look forward to living life on my own time and having the freedom to travel with my husband, Kevin. 7. Danielle Duckery, "You have to put off being young until you can retire." So I do it three or four times a day." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez Before you criticize, wait. The police are calling it an axe-i-dent. Live well and prosper. Your happy retirement wishes in a greeting card, email, or text are a pat on the back, a standing ovation, a hearty toast celebrating both the accomplishment and expectations that retirement represents.. Tailor your best wishes to the retiree as well as your level of relationship or appropriateness given your . My friend was killed by a 2 ton sack of falling chickpeas. Bill Waterson, "Say goodbye to tension and hello to your pension." Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. Enjoy your new 7 day weekend Gene Perret, "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. Goodbye Tension - Hello Pension! It's time to work on your golf game, enjoy retirement! There s a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell. Tennessee Williams, Dont look for the need in the haystack. QuotesGram. The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay Martin it's your turn. Hi Pension. What do you call a female police officer playing guitar? Congratulations on making it out alive You take the cake! 61. 60. Who works in tandem with the grammar police? Source Unknown, Gods retirement plan is out of this world. Funny retirement sayings and quotes. 37. Offer financial wellness to the people at the heart of your business. Have you been eating donuts?, 6. Larry Laser, "Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of these is work." Tips On How To Save For Retirement Without A 401k, Best Places To Retire In Arizona 2020 | Retirement Communities, Memory Care Checklist: What To Ask & Look For, What is Memory Care? 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Why did the police arrest the turkey? One of my favorite parts of planning retirement parties is the opportunity to get all punny and think up funny cake sayings for retirement and invites. Voltaire, The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Here's a nice variety of rhyming retirement poems that you may share with someone that is about to retire or has recently retired. 13. Happy retirement wishes! 18. The retired guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I ache all over. 124 Retirement Quotes: Funny Retirement Quotes, Inspirational Retirement Quotes and More! I'm Retired. 14. A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. I believe in financial retirement. You just stole my heart. A personal congratulations and appreciation message to honor the police officer on his or her retirement and let them know that they will be truly missed for years to come. "May all the years ahead bring you great joy and relaxation.". What are the cat police called? A Lifelong Friendship. 33. Satchel Paige, A goal without a plan is just a wish. Retirement gives you the time literally to recreate yourself through a sport, game or hobby that you always wanted to try or that you havent done in years. Will Rogers, Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. Thats how he contributes to the welfare of the community. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Your guide to financial planning and retirement, Community 1. I tell them, a paternity suit. For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service 2023 NewRetirement, Inc. All rights reserved. Retiring State Trooper Two rounds a day are plenty. to date. Use these famous quotes to send a boss, co-worker or teacher off to a happy and healthy retirement. Author Unknown, Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. 4. Retirement is not the end of the road. It means choice." Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too. 7. They aren't going to get rid of me that way. Did you hear they arrested the Energizer bunny? We go. What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? After observing some erratic driving, he pulls the man over. I wish i can also retire right now so that i don t need to call anyone boss. He approaches her and asks, Are you OK? The woman replies, Yes, but how do I get to the hospital? The officer says, Just keep standing there.. 62. You Never Swerved From the Path of Duty. A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled on retirement. It takes a unique person to persevere to retirement, which is why police retirement quotes, sayings and plaque wording ideas should be taken seriously. The water is fine! I don't necessarily believe in physical retirement. You Shall Always be a Soldier of the Law! 623-975-0880. Author Unknown, Learn how age discrimination can threaten your future, Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. 30. Does your kid want to be a policewoman when she grows up? All the best!". Funny retirement quotes for your boss. Honor the dignity of the Thin Blue Line with police retirement plaque wording ideas that really mean something. Kitty ONeill Collins, I never had the sense that there was an end: that there was a retirement or that there was a jackpot. Then its time for my nap. Bob Hope, Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too. Charles Baxter, The best thing about retirement is not having to wear pants. Mark Hewer, You might be on the back nine of life, but its good to finish strong. Morton Shaevitz, Retired is being tired twice, Ive thought, the first tired of working, then tired of not. Richard Armour, Youve heard of the three ages of man: youth, middle age, and youre looking wonderful. Cardinal Spellman, Goodbye to 9 to 5. Goodbye Tension. 1) Retirement is the beginning of the time when you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life.