Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. BAM! I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. I sincerely believe that if you think theres a solution, youre part of the problem. } The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice., Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups., If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else., Political correctness cripples discourse, creates ugly language and is generally stupid., Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out., When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person., If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders., If you have selfish and ignorant citizens then you too will become a selfish and bad leader.. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. " George Carlin Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. Well, we know what they want. It will be Nikesneakers and Smiley shirts. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, By and large, languageis a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres theself-helpsection? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. g = p.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; They will do anything for the unborn. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. George Carlin, 51. Whether you agree with him or not, Carlins views are definitely worth considering. Hes just sayin that stuff. Good. (function() { Authors. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.George Carlin, When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?George Carlin, The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. _Q: [] Get future posts byemail,oryou can follow us onInstagram,Pinterest,andFacebook. } 21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics The less said about it the better. George Carlin, 38. Electricity is really just organized lightning. Laugh often, long and loud. October 29, 2004. About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact Us, Ronald Reagan Religious Quotes To Live Your Life As A True Believer, www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes, www.quotes.thefamouspeople.com/george-carlin-1484.php, www.everydaypower.com/george-carlin-quotes. You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, 15. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Laugh often, long and loud. Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin, 20. The following quotes are some of the most thought provoking sentences youll ever read. You have owners. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, 18. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. I dont believe anything the government tells me., Governments dont want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. 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You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. (function () { Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize Im listening to it. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. googletag.pubads().collapseEmptyDivs(true); If you can connect with theseGeorge Carlin quotes, subscribe to our blog so that you dont miss a single post. function isShowingBuyableFeatures() { Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth. The middle class pays all of the taxis, does all of the work. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, 73. if (sourcesToHideBuyFeatures[i] == source) My motto: Fuck Hope! George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. Dont just teach your children to read Teach your children to question what they read, teach them to question everything. "Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation." George Carlin Read more quotes from George Carlin Share this quote: Like Quote Recommend to friends Friends Who Liked This Quote Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. George Carlin Quotes Government. QuotesGram Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, 59. People are wonderful. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if youre really looking.George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, 77. page: {requestId: "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", meaningful: "interactive"} } We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. George Carlin Sayings and Quotes about life! My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("sid", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); He made us notice the things we never did before in the form of his humor and this world will forever be grateful for this brilliant mind. And armbands. The reason I talk to myself is that Im the only one whose answers I accept.George Carlin. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40. You don't. You have no choice. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. The Strange Afterlife of George Carlin - The New York Times var useSSL = "https:" == document.location.protocol; If black boxes survive air crashes why dont they make the whole plane out of that stuff? George Carlin, 55. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. No money to be made off of the homeless. When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. "https:" : "http:") + Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. "Application": "GoodreadsMonolith", And armbands. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); George Carlin. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. Were so self-important. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. Your email address will not be published. Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images By Daniel Kurtzman Updated on 06/20/18 "In America, anyone can become president. }); "George Carlin confronts reality". if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { A Death! Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? Required fields are marked *. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_images-9e9093f0cfddba8c2b1e815375d976a3.css"; 50 Motivational George Carlin Quotes For Success Period. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) googletag.pubads().enableSingleRequest(); In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. George Carlin, 25. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin, 74. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. }, As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. In this blog post, weve compiled some of his most compelling quotes on the subject for you to consider as well! Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them. 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