42. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Is your family tree a cactus? Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. What a miracle. Thats because my crush is a fictional character. 76. Brilliant! 20 Perfect Responses To Send When Your Ex Texts You - Vixen Daily You were a young man when you last spoke. 4. 40. Copyright 2011 - 2023 IncNut Stylecraze Private Limited. You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. Checklists & Reminders! but it's just so blunt and funny. Socioeconomically? This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. 1. 24. This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. a fate worse than death." Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. #fyp #basketball #viral #fyp #viralvideo #funny #comedy". The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. I'm happy! Take Your Time. Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. Because they are already taking their time. 14. As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. Nowadays, potential mates need money. "Any day above ground is a good day. Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". 10. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. Me being single is just a conspiracy! I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". 57. Im still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. My grandfather had a ton of these. Let's face itat my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Joshua Burns. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. 43. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? *licks lips*. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. 55. 5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? Tell her that you're there for her to make her laugh, if she needs some company. I like being single. 5. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! Could Be Better. Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. 48. To contact our editors please use our contact form. Tip #3 - Confidence is Key. 30. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. I'm loved! There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. 50. 12. Scroll down! His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. For your information, Im in a relationship with food. But Ive also had better. Feeling confident? 3. Youre not as bad as everyone says. Thank you, it made my day. Its the same reason why I dont post pictures of myself. 86 Funny and Flirty Responses To 'How Are You Doing?' - Monk at 25 Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. Why some QAnon believers think JFK Jr is still alive - and about to The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? 32. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" 26. Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked. And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. My standards are higher than what Ive seen lately. My guardian angel be like 2. I always yawn when Im interested. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. Because your ass is out of this world! I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? Otherwise, we would still be with them today. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? 18. There is nothing wrong with responding with a funny or witty remark if youre getting annoyed with repetitive questions. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Best Answers to the "What You Do For a Living?" Question [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? funny response to are you still alive. "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. . Feel my shirt. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. No one loves superheroes. You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. Hey, whered you get that nose? *Siri activates front camera*. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. I'm not Hal and we're not in space. funny response to are you still alive The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. A real low-life. Most of the time, that is not true. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. 36. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. You win the internet. My only talent is not being in a relationship. Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. Are you serious? 7. 68. Congrats, guys! It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! Break the cycle, rise above, focus on science! I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. You may join me, though. Do you want the short or the detailed version? It doesn't mean that you don't actually take showers. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. But still, some people will try to satisfy their curiosity and meddle with your personal life. Funny Responses to "How Are You?" (& Other Questions!) - Science of People And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. Every civilisation has its genesis and its conclusion. Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. But it can be funny. This does not seem right. "Hey You, I'm really good. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. No? It's Okay. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. Ive had worse. 53. 3. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. 1. count_scoopula 6 yr. ago. [deleted] 5 yr. ago. Follow for more funny content!! Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. Don't Push It Too Far. I really thought you already knew. It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. Because I prefer the company of dogs/cats rather than humans. 90. 7. But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. I'd rather answer to a 'What's your favorite "I'd rather die" response alternative' thread on reddit. Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. How Am I Still Alive #shorts #overwatch2 #overwatch - YouTube 5. Your 3rd @ has one shot to make a three or you die. I was actually talking to my friend". 39. Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. 30 Funny Comebacks For Late Messages - Grammarhow You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. Just look what happened there! I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." And it's time for me to make my escape. 6. The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. 83. 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. Plotting how Im going to take over the world. Now that is pretty f****** funny. The Funniest Replies for People Who Are Always Asked "Are You Okay?" Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! I'm wondering how you are. In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. Then they throw dirt in your face. "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". Share the best GIFs now >>> 61. Not sure why you're asking me my age. For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart . How to answer when someone asks me, "Are you still alive - Quora via: Pexels / George Pak. Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. Hmmph. Because my milkshake doesnt bring boys to the yard. Dont get caught with nothing to say. Does the new one work any better? The music billboard charts got it wrong! But, whats the likelihood of that happening? Not Bad. Yep, thats about it just a confusing answer. 18. (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) 100+ Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" 15. It may come across as insensitive, but that's just how our current world works. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. It looks a little too clingy and hard to maintain. But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Moving in with Roommates? You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. I'm alive! 20 Hilarious Things Actually Said in Court Best Life Totally fine! Well, are you? What's your favourite "I'd rather die" response alternative? My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". Spiritually? 900+ MAXINE CARTOONS ideas | maxine, bones funny, funny quotes - Pinterest Even if life is rough, be happy that you're still alive. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. However, I dont recall anything about morons. But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. Opposites attract, right? She works with her clients to help them evolve in their problem areas and find new meaning in their lives, thus finding the best versions of themselves. Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. "You know I can do this anytime.". I'm afraid I can't do that. alive # dead meat # tremors # kill count # survived # reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once When they play it cool, play it ice cold. Thank you Fred. I have a feeling that my soulmate is somewhere out there pushing a pull door right now. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! 11. Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. Thats because Im still waiting for you. Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! If you're taking a vacation and staying home, your clients or coworkers may still expect you to pop into the office and answer their emails. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. At minding my own business? Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. 95. You have an old soul. Are you flirting with me right now? 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. 2. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. [*clap your hands*]. Stupidity isnt a crime. 99 Savage And Funny Answers To "How Old Are You?" 97. I dont tell you how to live your life, dont tell me how to live mine thanks. Try a Humorous Reply when Someone Asks "How Are You?" - All Women's Talk Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. 25 Witty Comebacks To Use On Terrible Pick Up Lines But, if they were, it would be a valid reason for them taking so long to reply. 11. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. 2. Youll never be even half the man your mother is. 98. | Are you surviving? No, I'm Finnish. Could Be Payday. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. How are you? Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes (6 quotes) - goodreads.com "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. It's quite the accomplishment. Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier?
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