carnac the magnificent curses

, The Question: What is the leading cause of divorce? promises. Or are you just happy to see me? A: Hickory Dickory Dock. They've been kept in The Answer: Dumbo, Eeyour, and Mitt Romney. A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign Only this curse was not humorous at all. Johnny would don an . ", Jan Elliott AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel, NJ .hounx!jansz. grandfather. Q: Who was just arrested for impersonating a baseball team? Get Image May your prize bull hate cows. A: Kris Kristofferson Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. Q: Describe two people who like to cheat. Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman Q: Name the only two people who aren't sick of hearing A: Mr. Coffee. A: A mule, a horse, Billy Carter. A: Snap, crackle, pop. A: Gatorade. , The Question: Why didnt Mrs. Franklin have any kids? A net, Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. A: Planter's Punch. Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve? The Question: What was the result of Joe Bidens colonoscopy? Q: What have the oil companies given our wildlife? We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers. A: 50 miles per hour. alley? A: Once is not enough. 5.0 out of 5 stars 2. If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. In article <9@psivax.UUCP> a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: I remember some of these from some book or other on the joys of. May the bird of paridise fly up your noseMay an elephant caress you with its toesMay your wife be plaqued with runners in her hoseMay the bird of paridise fly up your nose, Ron Williams (not Tom Nadas, but an incredible simulation)--, UUCP: {decvax,linus,ihnp4,uw-beaver,allegra,utzoo}!utcsri!tomCSNET: tom@toronto, "Look over there, a dry ice factory. A: "Follow the yellow brick road." As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. Q: Where does Morris the Cat go when he's lonely? Price starting at $87.97 for basic 5,000 sq. A: Damnation Alley. , The Question: What is the longest sentence in the world? Amazon's Choice for carnac hat. The segment included several running gags. "What do you want to avoid doing when you shave her bocker? shorts. "You Light Up My Life.". New York Yankees vs Boston Red Sox Box Score: May 30, 1961 A: Deep freeze. resuscitation with a sick lizard. A: "Yes man." THE BEST OF CARNAC - QUESTION: What do you hear when you put - RomWell when is a felony traffic stop done; saskatchewan ghost towns near saskatoon; affitti brevi periodi napoli vomero; general motors intrinsic value; nah shon hyland house fire Line: 479 , The Question: What new rap tune has replaced Hail to the Chief as the presidents walk-up song? Zippo? The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? His reign on NBC's Tonight show lasted just a few months short of . A: At both ends. CARNAC: May a desert rat sunbathe on your radar range. Best "Karnak" (Johnny Carson) jokes? - narkive Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke, (Original and slightly used comedy by Rick Clarke), I loved Johnny Carson and his character, Carnac the Magnificent. We have in the building tonight that great visitor from the East. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. The Answer: The Senate Intelligence Committee. Q: What are good directions to a urologist's office? The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? Q: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper? I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. dee? Carnac the Magnificent In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as "Carnac the Magnificent." Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the. "Carnac" examples: "Billy Graham, Virginia Graham, and Lester Maddox" . , The Question: What is the name the new Disney fat stripper movie. Clarnac: If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. A: Shake and bake. A: Bi-focal. Tenor.com has been translated based on your browser's language setting. A: Burn the candle at both ends. Q: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo? The Question: Name a drink made up of 7-Up and prune juice. The Answer: Liar, Liar, Pantsuit on Fire. . folks who ran "The Tonight Show" in the 70's. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. (Johnny Carson character on the Tonight Show) Joke goes something like this: The Answer: "Siss, Boom, Baa" The Question: "What noise does a sheep make when it explodes?" Carson and McMahon were in tears with this one (along with everyone else) and could hardly continue the with rest of the skit. A: Sir Lawrence Olivier, the Oscars and the oil shortage. A: Head and shoulders. The Answer: Dr. Ben Casey, Dr. James Kildaire, Dr. Doogie Howser, Dr. Marcus Welby, Granny Moses (Beverly Hills) and Dr. Anthony Fauci. the audience will cheer. The Answer: Hes 97 and we dont know where the hell he is. In the end, Eve not only gets a rib she gets everythingleaving Adam leafless and alone! . , The Question: How do you say Fauci in Mandarin? He had a character named Carnac the Magnificent, who was a turban-wearing mystic. The longest laugh ever recorded was given to "Sis Boom Bah," which was the answer to "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes" and resulted in both Carson and McMahon breaking character to laugh as well. http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=470, torchweb@gmail.com Only Johnny Carson could make the commercialization of Shakespeare funny. Carson would place each envelope against his forehead and predict the answer, such as Gatorade. Q: What do you call not getting busted? Find Funny GIFs, Cute GIFs, Reaction GIFs and more. The Answer: No more years! The Answer: Under Willie Brown and through Joe Bidens colon. The Question: Name three things in New York that may run forever. May there be more than one of you to bear the mountain of misery and griefI wish upon you. If a joke bombed, Carnac went after the audience with all kinds of creative curses including, "May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt!" . Can't decide? Return to Political Humor As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. Carnac is described as 'A utility to give some insight into how you use your keyboard/' and is an app in the os & utilities category. A: That darn cat. A: A full moon "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts", or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister", or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits". Q: Who's the new traffic advisor to Los Angeles? Q: What do you call dressing up as a tree? -- -------------------------------------------------------------"they forcibly extracted the word 'but' from his vocabulary, and locked him in a room with 10 economists"-------------------------------------------------------------. A: Eleven. So I created my own character, CLARNAC the Magnificent and created my own material as a tribute and for my own amusement. , The Question: What is the female version of Viagra? , The Question: How do you spell lahgahbahtahqua? (Ben Dover) , The Question: What is Richard Schwartz fee if he collects for you? This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. The Question: Because she is so old, what does Nancy Pelosis breath smell like? [Ed Ames has thrown a tomahawk across the stage, hitting a painting of a cowboy straight in the "crotch". "Reading the contents of the envelope:"Name three things that have yeast. QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. A client of mine was hosting a dinner party, wanted to entertain her guests by re-enacting this skit between Johnny Carson and Ed . Description. Q: What do crabs get high on? Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. One? May a sick ox make bubbles in your hot tub. A: Cyclone. I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. , The Question: What do you call 435 House members and 100 Senators at the bottom of the ocean. . Are you sure you want to cancel your membership with us? skirt. Q: Name a focal that goes both ways. The Answer: They found no brain activity. A: Unleash. A: Grape Nuts. Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub? The Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? . Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. Carson Emmy Awards, The 1975. Name, in reverse order, a droll comedian, the first name of a popcorn purveyor and a fat, self-absorbed, obnoxious loser!" . This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. . A: Fondue. A: Flypaper. Is that about right, sir? My favorite Carnac(sp?) May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. Mouse over chart for play descriptions. Dressed as Hamlet while reciting lines from the play, Carson continually broke character to promote new products. [1] Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh? Q: What will you get if you ignore a trucker's blockade? A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo. Johnny Carson fans: Do you have a favorite "Carnac The Magnificent" joke? Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! Next Johnny will retaliate with a "Comedic Curse" such as: "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts" or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister" or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. A: The CIA. Get Image May your only daughter take up with a yak of another faith. A: Ultra-conservative. ANSWER: Dustin Hoffman. Clarnac: Well see how it goes, if Clarnac can find his reading glasses. Although Bilaams curses were many, all of the other curses - save the one for Houses of Prayer and Study - eventually came to pass. , The Question: Whats the name of Madonnas latest hit single? pants. Carson 500's, The 1985. At the same time, Eves curses also seem to have been reverted. And even people who dont work at all need not starve, as food banks and charities abound, and governments provide welfare. Q: How do you spell kkkirsucla? 99 $28.11 $28.11. The Question: What are three things less endangered than our freedom? ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. The best alternative is Screenkey, which is both free and Open Source.Other great apps like Carnac are Key'n'Stroke , KeyCastr, KeyPress OSD and Mousepos. these envelopes, Carson Caucas 1984. A: Ninety-nine and nine-tenths. , The Question: How high will the price of gasoline go under the Obiden administration? . cleanup team? Watch now: Free with ads. The answer was always an outrageous pun. Q: What was the final score of the Jaws-Capricorn game? The Question: Name 8 things that will soften your brain. The resulting jokes often involved puns or wordplay; for example, "The La Brea Tar Pits" was the answer to "What do you have left after eating the La Brea Tar Peaches? A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. Amazon.com: Carnac The Magnificent A: Never on Sunday. Carnac held each envelope to his forehead while "divining" the answer, then tore open the end of the envelope and loudly blew into it before removing the index card with the question. He dubbed it the "Carnac Saver" and said in a 2009 interview, "I'll go to my grave having to apologize for having invented the Carnac Saver. Q: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. Line: 68 a #2 mayonnaise Q: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. A: England, France and Greece. Q: What do you call getting slapped around by a German king? Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show Johnny Carson 772K subscribers Subscribe 5.9K 1.1M views 11 years ago Watch Carson episodes every night on.